Empowering Target Parents of Parental Alienation- Dr. Craig Childress

Hello, I'm Dr. Craig Childress.  Thank you for joining me for this series of YouTube videos.

In this video series I'm talking to you the targeted parent, the child's authentic parent, regarding our efforts to rescue and recover your children from the psychological and developmental child abuse that's parental alienation.

Let me begin by explaining the nature of the problem you're facing and then I'll explain the solution. Your problem is twofold. First, and most importantly, you cannot protect your children. Until we can protect your child, you can't ask your child to expose his or her vulnerability, his or her authenticity, to the vicious retaliation that's sure to follow from a narcissistic borderline parent, from your ex. If your child ever exposes his or her authentic love for you, if your child shows any love for you or simply doesn't reject you completely enough, with enough display of anxious fearfulness, of enough angry venom then your child will face a withering psychological retaliation from the narcissistic borderline parent, from your ex.

Your child is being held as a psychological hostage. They're being forced to say and do things that are contrary to their authenticity. Unless we can first rescue your children, unless we can first protect your children, we can't ask them to reveal their authenticity to the psychological brutality with the narcissistic borderline parent. And they’re hostage taker, the narcissistic borderline parent is more powerful than you are. They're able to completely dis-empower you, remain helpless. You're not able to rescue your children from them. So your child must do whatever he or she must do in order to survive in the dangerous psychological world in which they must live. You cannot rescue them. You are powerless to rescue them, so they must do what they must. They must reject you in order to survive psychologically in a dangerous world in which they had been abandoned.

Parental alienation is not a child custody issue. Oh no. It's a child protection issue. Until we can protect your children, we cannot ask them to reveal their authenticity and the authenticity of their love for you. It's too dangerous for them in the hostage world in which they live. You must first protect your child. This isn't a battle against parental alienation. This is a battle for your children. This is a fight to protect your children, to rescue your children. I'm often asked by parents, what can I do to restore my relationship with my child? But that's the wrong question and it portrays that you don't really understand the nature of the problem. If your child shows their authentic love for you, if your child doesn’t reject you with sufficient display, they'll face a withering psychological retaliation from your ex, from the narcissistic borderline parent, you're essentially asking 'Dr. Childress, help me to more fully expose my child to psychological child abuse?' I won't help you do that. You must first protect your children. That's our first obligation. Then and only then can we ask your children to become authentic once more. Only when we're able to protect your children, can we ask them to show their love for you.

The first obligation of an authentic parent is to protect your children. Your children are being held hostage and they're being psychologically abused. You must rescue your children from their emotional and psychological abuse. But you can't. You cannot protect your children and that's your first problem. But why can't you protect your children? You love your children dearly. You want to protect them, you're fighting to protect them, but you can't. Why not? Because the systems that should be your allies in protecting your children, the mental health system and the legal system have abandoned you. They’re broken systems. Without them, you don't have enough power to protect your children, to rescue your children from psychological abuse. That's your second problem. You are powerless to protect your children because of the systems you need to enact that protection have failed you. Chief among these systems is the mental health system. It's the mental health system that should recognize the pathology, that's our job. It's the mental health system which should recognize the psychological child abuse. But they haven't. The mental health system has abandoned you and your children to their abuse. And that's unconscionable.

In order to protect your children, you'll also need the power of the legal system in order to enact the rescue of your children from their hostage taker. Only the legal system has the power to order the rescue of your children, but the legal system has also failed you. It bleeds you of money, but to no avail. It too abandons your children to their abuse.

Without the support of the mental health and legal systems, you don't have the power to protect your children from their emotional and psychological abuse. And if you cannot protect your children, you cannot recover your children's authenticity. Your children must sacrifice their authenticity to the narcissistic borderline parent in order to psychologically survive with the pathology of this parent.

In order to solve parental alienation, you must first be able to protect your children. Parental alienation is first and foremost a child protection issue. In order to protect your children, you must have the support of the mental health and legal systems. Without their support, there’s nothing you can do. Without the support of the mental health and legal systems you are powerless to protect your children. And if you're powerless to protect your children then your children must do what they must in order to survive in the psychologically dangerous world in which they'd been abandoned.

The solution is that we must fix the broken systems so that you are empowered to be able to protect your children. Once you have the power to protect your children, once you're able to rescue your children from their psychological and emotional abuse, then and only then can we recover your children's authenticity.

That's why you are all in this together. We cannot solve this for any one family unless we solve it for all families. We first need to fix the systems that dis-empower you from protecting your children. We must first reclaim the mental health system as your ally in fighting the pathology and then use the power of this new ally to obtain from the legal system the protection your children need. As long as the mental health system abandons you and your children, you'll have no power in the legal system. If you have no power, you'll be unable to protect your children. And if you cannot protect your children then you cannot ask them to reveal their authentic love for you. If they reveal their authentic love for you, their hostage taker will exact terrible revenge on them. If you ask your children to reveal their love for you, yet you cannot protect them, then you are simply exposing them more fully to their abuser.

You must first protect your children but you cannot do this alone. You alone cannot change the mental health system. You wait for someone to rescue you as your children wait for someone to rescue them, but no one comes. Why doesn't anyone come to rescue you, which is the same question your children are asking, why doesn't anyone come to rescue them? You must come to rescue their children. But how can you rescue your children, you’re just one person alone and powerless against the systems that won’t listen, won't act. Nonsense. You are more powerful than you know but not alone. We cannot rescue your children, your family, if we do not fix the mental health response to parental alienation. And when we fixed the mental health response, we'll fix it for all children, for all families. We cannot rescue your individual child until we rescue all of the children. You're all in this together. There is your power.

Don't ask me, what can I do to regain my child's love? Ask me instead, what can we do to protect our children? For seven years I've worked for you and your children towards this day. I forged for you a tool, a way, a weapon to use in the fight for the recovery and rescue of your children, to protect your children. I'm not your lawyer, I'm your weapon. But don't look for someone to rescue you because then you're helpless. Then you're a victim. With the right weapon and proper strategy, you're strong enough and powerful enough to rescue your children from their abuse. Are you kidding me? You're fighting for your children. You are fierce and determined. You are powerful when you come together.

In this video series, I'll describe for you the weapon you have available to you in reclaiming your children. And I'll describe for you the strategy you can use to recover mental health as your ally so that you can then protect your children and recover your authentic children, all of your children. Because only if we rescue and recover all of your children will we be able to rescue and recover your specific child.

You must understand this, and this is critical, we're all in this together. We cannot solve parental alienation in one case, for any one specific child or any one specific family, unless we solve parental alienation for all children in all families. And when we solve it for all families, we solve it for your specific family, for your specific child. And this is important too, you cannot wait for someone to rescue, you are not a victim who needs to be rescued, you are the child's authentic parent who needs to rescue your child. You're not a victim in need of being rescued. You're the hero who will do the rescuing. You are fierce and determined and powerful. All you need is the right weapon and the right strategy and you are an unstoppable force. You are fighting for your children. And there's no more powerful force on this planet than an authentic parent who is fighting for your children.

You are unstoppable. All you need is the right weapon and the right strategy, and that's what I'm going to give you in this series of videos. The coming battle is recover mental health. Once mental health is your ally, we’ll turn next to the legal system to recover your power to protect your children. The mental health speaks with a single voice. The legal system will be able to act with a decisive clarity necessary to protect your children. Once we're able to protect your children, then we can recover your children's authenticity. Then and only then can we recover your children's authentic love for you. And in truth that last part is easy. Once we're able to protect your children, recovering their authentic love for you, oh, that's the easy part. Believe me, you've got that totally covered, but first you must protect your children.

This isn't a battle against parental alienation, this is a battle to protect your children. This isn't a battle against parental alienation, this is a battle for your children. This is a battle to protect and rescue your children. And in this battle you are not a victim who is in need of being rescued. Oh no, you are a fierce and determined hero, the child's authentic parent who's going to rescue your children from the psychological abuse by the other parent.

Time to find your power and to engage this battle, to protect and rescue your children. It's time to get your children back.